


Icarus

by jejudo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Sad Ending, kunwoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 01:28:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14842973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jejudo/pseuds/jejudo
Summary: "This is what it feels like to fly too close to the Sun."





	Icarus

Kun was into Greek mythology growing up as a kid. Seeing the life lessons within each story practically scared him into always listening to his parents and taking the safest route. Kun grew up being told what he was going to be. His parents wanted another doctor in the family, and he something about him that made him good at helping others. In the career placement tests, he never answered for himself but more for his parents. He was also told he took others opinions into account too much but even though Kun knew that, he never said to anyone what he was really thinking, or what he wanted to be and achieve. Kun had learned to fly low and always play things safe.

Until he met the sun.

Kun remembers meeting Jungwoo through a friend and them instantly clicking. They were polar opposites, but something about them made them work so well together. Jungwoo complemented Kun and vice versa. Instantly they were going on dates and hanging out. Kun had been more daring than usual when with Jungwoo. One night he had hung out with friends and Kun remembered hearing how surprised all of his friends were that they were still together. Taeyong and Johnny told Kun that JUngwoo was a bit of a wild card, and after dinner Taeyong took him aside and said too be careful of what could happen.

Kun ignored Taeyong because how could Jungwoo be bad for him when he had practically become his rock? Kun cried to him more than once, and Jungwoo was always there with a free shoulder and open ears. Instead of Kun keeping things to himself like he had done his whole life, he had begun calling Jungwoo when something happened and Jungwoo let him talk his ear off until the late hours of the night, or until he had to go. Kun let Jungwoo know all the things he really wanted to do and in return, Jungwoo motivated him to do those things. 

Kun remembers the night when he had told Jungwoo he wanted to be an artist, but never did it because his parents didn’t want him to go on an unstable career path. Jungwoo listened to him and patted his back, telling him that it happens to everybody. The next day, Kun woke up to see an easel and paint, with a naked Jungwoo covering himself with a silk blanket posing on the couch in front of the easel. Kun remembers every feature of Jungwoo, and how whiny his voice was when Kun told him to stay still. He remembers hearing the cliche “paint me like one of your French girls” and the provocative “I know how skilled you are with your hands” when he told Jungwoo he didn’t think he’d do well. Kun remembers the look of surprise on Jungwoos face when he showed him the finished product and how he would hang it up in their shared room. Jungwoo remembers Kun’s laugh when he told him he thought Kun would be a bad painter. Kun remembers saying telling Jungwoo how much he loved him and Jungwoo saying it back. He remembers his mind being a mess and getting down on one knee and Jungwoo gasping. He remembers the I do and he remembers how warm Jungwoo’s body felt against his that night.

The following days were pure heaven. Seeing Jungwoo’s smile while planning the rest of their life together made Kun smile too. Jungwoo would show Kun houses, and Kun would talk about a family. Kun thinks back to the look of surprise, now he thinks about how it was a bad thing. Jungwoo made Kun happy, and with Kun’s job they would both be supported. Kun and Jungwoo traveled across town to a special parlor to get wedding bands and Jungwoo’s eyes lit up when he saw the pair. Looking at his sparkling eyes feeling Jungwoo squeeze his hand in excitement Kun told Jungwoo that he understands why Icarus would want to fly too close to the sun and Jungwoo asked him what he meant. Kun laughed and told him to not worry about it and then they bought the rings.

The following weeks were different. Kun could feel that Jungwoo’s eyes didn’t sparkle as often and when he had a problem Jungwoo wouldn’t answer the phone. He thought it was the wedding planning stress, but when he asked Jungwoo about it his voice would sound irritated and told Kun to drop it. Kun didn’t know what to do, he constantly tried talking but Jungwoo just wanted silence. He would listen to Kun on occasions, but he would slip out for class, even though Kun remembers he missed the registration period. Jungwoo who would always want to do something would say not now or that he wasn’t in the mood. 

By the following month Jungwoo grew distant, and when he said he didn’t want Kun’s painting was seared into his mind. Jungwoo said he needed time to think and Kun said that he understood, but he really didn’t. He could count the days back when he was so sure but what had changed? When Kun asked about money, that started a fight that woke up the neighbors. For the first time ever, Kun slept on the couch and he didn’t wake up to the smell of Jungwoo’s cooking. When Kun woke up in the middle of the night to apologize, he walked into their room and saw the bed made, with a note on it. Kun was barefoot and ran out into the middle of the street, yelling Jungwoo’s name. He called his phone that went straight to voicemail.

Kun was left alone in that big house with two rings and a note that talked about that day in the parlor. He wrote about the secrets he had kept and had to go, and that Kun should forget about him. Kun looked at the wedding band with tears welling in his eyes. Kun felt like Icarus drowning in the sea when the sun melted his wings. He imagined seeing Jungwoo cry while he wrote “I’m sorry you had to be the Icarus” with Kun sleeping. He slipped out in the middle of the night, and Kun would never know why. Kun couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. He had been warned, warned not to go to close and to stay safe but the unnamed feeling he chased after had caused him to fall, just like Icarus. Now he was alone in his house with his cries echoing off the walls.

**Author's Note:**

> first time writing for kunwoo!!! i feel like this wasn't my best work, but i hope you enjoyed it!!! feel free to comment or give kudos!!!
> 
> twt: carratzen  
> cc: curiouscat.me/priiistin


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